International Women’s Day 2021 #ChooseToChallenge


My Secret Revealed.

This morning I woke up with a terrible headache and a very heavy heart. As I scrolled over social media to find the obligatory posts on International Women’s Day. Don’t get me wrong I’ve got this headache because of the same reason. Trying to multitask isn’t my best strength although I think it’s just a matter of time, I’ll perfect it. 

Today I want to tell you a secret, a secret about me, a secret about a hidden hypocrite. Oh don’t worry, I’m quite prepared for your “supportive” comments and advice. So there’s a little story that I’d like to share. It’s a story about me, no surprise there. 


So let's start from the age of ten-ish; I was one of the first ones to have the blessings from Aunty Flo. I had somehow become this chubby school girl who'd get bullied for my weight and my melanin rich skin. Periods were and sometimes still are such a taboo subject that nobody speaks freely about. Not even when we had the awkward Science lecture on “Female Reproduction”, how was I to learn? 


Mother said, “Don’t worry child, you’ve now got to use pads, yes the ones advertised in the media. Yes where you’re supposed to have blue blood”. Now my mother has taught me a lot but not a lot was said when Aunt Flo surprised me. I don’t blame her; society was not ready for the sit down conversations we now plan as soon as we know XX is to be born.  


Most of you know my passion for Equity, Diversity and Inclusion (EDI) flows deep in my veins. But not many know that it’s been a journey of accepting myself. I was and still can be my worst critic, all I saw in my reflection was the things I’d like to trade. 


Just as I was learning to love my melanin, another doctor's visit revealed Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). Great! All that was missing in this obese teenager body was a growing moustache and of course a beard. I’d only started to love myself, even accept bullying because of Betty, my bushy, thick unibrow. 


The random advice from aunties and sometimes even uncles and cousins, “Why don’t you try this?” How was I to respond that it was too late, genetics couldn’t be changed. The years of thoughts that have scarred me, that I somehow didn’t fit in for the role of Mother Mary but could only represent as a South Indian in the school presentation and play. I’ve tried and tested every scrub, paste and cream. Alas! I still retain strong genes from my dad. 


I don’t blame you or me, I blame patriarchy that normalised the sales, ads and beauty standards. I still look in the mirror and find my flaws before my strengths. But would you blame 20+ years of learning that needs to be unlearned. I say I love you, I accept you no matter how you look on the outside. Trust me when I say this, I mean it from the heart. I know I do because I’d want you to say the same.  I still need to relearn to love and accept myself, however for Betty to live on, I think it’s bit too late. 


I’ve hidden behind a mountain since lockdown decided to stall. My first thought was at least the masks will hide my facial hair. They say no pain, no gain; my beauty therapist would miss out business and my tears. I’d been so desperate I chose to try DIY. Would not recommend it, if your hair is anything like mine. 


On my journey to finding myself, I think I’ve found my fears. It’s time I let go and be the free bird I’ve always meant to be. I’ve got so many minds I need to clear, not just on 8 March but every single day of the year. This #InternationalWomensDay I #ChooseToChallenge myself, my thoughts, my taboos, my biases and above all my hatred to myself. 


I’m bold, I’m beautiful, I’m incredible, I’m a leader, I’m an amazing future nurse, I’m really a force to be reckoned, I'm a woman, I’m ME. If you’d like to join me on this journey, don’t forget I forgive you for all your sayings. We all are human, learning from our mistakes is what we do. Once is a mistake but not more than twice. Pledge this women’s day to #ChooseToChallenge. 



Happy International Women’s Day to all the Fabulous women, who continue to inspire me, challenge me and support me every single day.

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